This is not my old blog

I didn’t want this blog to be about childlessness and the awful emotional rollercoaster that a childless-but-not-by-choice life brings.  I didn’t want to keep sharing that searing wrenching pain of disappointment and then the crazy giddiness of hopeful highs. 11079989_10153329547103478_1317943162694183289_o That’s why I deleted my old blog.  I deleted the entire thing. Pages and pages of bleh and aggh and ackk.  Wiped out and wiped off the web forever. I have godchildren to love.  I get to cuddle and spoil and sew for & craft with… and I get to send them home to their mom & dad when I’m exhausted, haha.  We’re kinda having the “grandparent experience” and I’m loving it.11133636_10153278234618478_2601281036758246477_o This is my lot and it’s good.  It’s good.  We are blessed.  It’s taken me a long time to feel this peace with my reality, my now.  Perhaps that’s why I haven’t written much in this ‘new’ blog of mine.



  1. I hope to get to where you are now….able to enjoy a childless but not by choice life. As for now, I hate it. I am consumed by it. And I feel it will swallow me whole….until I have completely disappeared.

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