Stuck in a funk

IMG_238479733549232Every day.  Everything is hard.  Seems pretty unnecessary to do anything.  Passing time.  No – time passes.  I sit.  I say hello.  I smile.  So many greys.  My mouth feels heavy.  My whole body feels heavy.  Knees ache.  I sit for so long.  I have been sitting for over 8 years.  Here, in this place.  Sitting, saying hello, smiling.  I want to be outside.  I want to be light; not heavy.  I want to run with a spring in my step; not have aching knees.  My breath needs to be pressed out in a sigh.  Each breath.  Stuck.  Why get up?  Why?  It wouldn’t be bad to stay asleep.  Time would still pass.  I know this place in my head.  I hate this place.  It’s comfortable and suffocating all at once.  I can cuddle up with it and have my flesh melted off.  Numb and painful all at once.  Stuck.


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